just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
