I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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