are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Actions speak louder than pants.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize