I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
