I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
