why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
