??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
