i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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