Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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