If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
