I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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