Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
