lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
