yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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