I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
