Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
