Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
