you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
