i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
