you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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