But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
