my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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