I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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