theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
