dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
