my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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