We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
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