I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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