If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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