So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
