so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
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Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
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Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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