do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
