i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
