the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Randomize
