highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
me + whiskey = a bad person
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
