You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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