new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
