I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
