What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
