I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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