That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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