Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
