yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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