after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
