I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
