i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
