this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Randomize
