wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
The ass gains better be worth it
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