Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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