i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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