i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You may now shotgun with the bride
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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