dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
