are you so shy because you have an std?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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