John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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