'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
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I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
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I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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