yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
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