Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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