she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
