So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Randomize
